Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
