Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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