how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just had sex on a roof
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
