JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
