i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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