it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
