I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
