Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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