i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Drake has all the answers
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
