O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize