best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
