I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
