you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
