I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Don't make out with my wife yet
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I need to align my fucking chakras
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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