You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
