This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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