Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
