I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
