The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
