Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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