This is not my ceiling
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
