i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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