I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
