i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
