I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
