There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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