As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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