the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
