dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what day is it and did you see me today?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Randomize
