That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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