That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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