carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
