this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
