i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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