All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize