Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
