i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When did angry sex become our thing?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
