I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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