I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
