She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
