in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
