Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Someone signed my nipple.
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