Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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