Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Define "chronic" masturbator.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
