it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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