We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
