***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
