There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
