How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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