if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
