u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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