I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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