I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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