The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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