Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
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Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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