did you get engaged???
I love black thongs
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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