The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
