is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
