I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
