In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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