either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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