The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
